Been on a non-blogging mood lately, not that I don't have the time to blog but I'm just too lazy.
Scrap the "don't have time to blog"..I was just busier with studies, magnum etc etc to blog more often especially the fact that I'm actually being quite chiong in my studies this semester.

Surprising I actually doing all my tutorials plus revision beforehand...and NOT LAST MINUTE!!!
Feel so darn great that I didn't need to stay up late at night to mug for my papers :) Let's just pray I did well for this test. But hey, 6 months internship is a good motivation for me to get good results, especially in cost accounting where my teacher is so sarcastic.God bless me man!

My December term break is finally here. AND DAMN, I'm not even glad about it.
2 projects due on 3rd Jan - 20% and 10% respectively. And the funny part, I can't seem to find time to fit my project group meeting into any days since I'm busy most of the days except weekends. Great, means I would most probably be skipping some time during training camp to rush out the projects. Super hate it when I'm given a project like right before the term break and I'm supposed to hand it up on the first day I resume school. HELLO...do I look like I have nothing better to do at home but sleep??!!!What's the point ranting... I still have to get it done by hook or crook cause my grades depends on it.

Feeling very off colour recently I don't know what has gotten into me lately. I don't even know what went wrong or where to start. Everything seems alright at the surface. It always does,doesn't it?

And it's always the same old things that chokes me up,again and again. Been spilling too much tears on stuffs I didn't knew I would.Was I expecting too much?I guess it wasn't easy living up to my own expectations and I expect others to do the same. Staying up at night questioning my decisions doesn't seem to be of much help lately. It always leads me back to the same question, will it be worth it?

I would say YES last time. Why wouldn't I? After all, I worked hard for it. I liked it. Was I too selfish, to only cared about what I wanted? Maybe. It will all come back to haunt you one day.

And this friend of mine told me "sometimes, giving up something that holds you back or doesn't let you advance forward is a good thing". Easier said than done. I know there are things that are holding me back, but I just refused to let it go. I guess I only have myself to blame if I chose to live my life the stressful way. Now, as confused as ever, I don't know what I'm living or dying for. So much for growing up or is it just me thinking too much about the future?

I guess I'm just too stupid to let myself go down that one way road, and worst of all, I already know it's a dead end. I'm just trying my luck to find an alternate route available for me at the end of this dead road for me to continue walking. But as of now, I'm stupid enough to even attempt this route.

I think everyone has a certain part of their lives where they truly wish they could freeze tim. Whether it was three years ago, today or still to come, whether it was just a moment, a whole day or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would stop changing because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.


I wish I can spend time with you, just chatting our lives away.
That's all I need, at least for me to feel sane now.

♥Si Wei

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